Norbert

Hi everybody!  Ok, I am normally not a drama queen, but I really need to vent about the boss’ newest employee…Norbert.  Cool name, part of the cleaning crew.   I thought we would get along just fine.  But apparently Norbert feels otherwise.  I think he has it in for me.  Let me explain the situation and you tell me if I am being unfair…

This is Norbert.  I snuck this picture while he was sleeping.

Day one:  Rob ( the boss’ minion/studio photog) comes into my office with the Studio’s  newest employee.  I am introduced to Norbert.   OH good, I think, maybe someone I can finally beat at cards.  The first meeting was a little stiff but hey that can happen.  I chalked it up to him being overwhelmed in the presence of a studio big wig.   Rob plugs in Norbert’s docking station, whatever that is, and Norbert wiggles his little butt up next to it and beeps a couple time.  Rob leaves and Norbert Starts winking at me with a creepy orange eye.  Well I let him know right away I was seeing Edgar, and that is when it went downhill.  His blinking orange light soon turned to green, I assume from jealousy.  Although I really can’t blame him, having to work in such close proximity to not only a strikingly beautiful woman, but also a high ranking member of the organization,  I can see why he would be attracted.  I digress… Here is a short video of Norbert wandering around aimlessly.  Sorry for the poor camera work... he really creeps me out.

Norbert did not move for the rest of the day.  I asked him several times if he would like to play cards, but he ignored me.  His light went from blinking green to solid green.  I’m sure that means something, but he would not talk to me.  Then suddenly without warning the next afternoon he plays this stupid little tune jumps off his docking station and pirouettes…  then he starts this god awful racquet and starts wandering all over the office.  I asked him several times if I could help him find something but he just ignores me.  Typical man won’t get directions to save their life.   Anyway he is bumping into everything.. I think he needs glasses… when he heads towards me.  Man!! If I had skin it would have been crawling.  He creeped me out.  He circled all around me and bumped in to me several times… and then, OMG I still can’t believe this… he spun around and backed up onto my feet!!!  EWWWWW!!! I think he wanted to spoon or something.   Then he stops and starts beeping at me, like it is some kind of cleaning dude love song.  Well thank goodness Rob heard it and came and rescued me.  Rob sent Norbert on his way and consoled me.  Rob helped me find a place   where Norbert could not reach me. 

Who would have guessed the guy had a mannequin foot fetish... go figure.  He seems to be a creature of habit; everyday about the same time he does the same thing, pirouettes makes all kinds of racquet and wanders around the office.  I still am not sure why he is here, but the boss seems to like him.  I wonder if she would still like him if he backed up onto HER feet.  Oh well.  

Hey don’t forget to visit http://www.etsy.com/shop/studiocalvinsupplies?ref=ss_profile  The boss is having a huge fabric sale and has sold almost half her supply!  Hurry these prices are hard to beat. Stupid contractual obligation met. J

Is it Friday yet??

Day 4 of Quinnie in Charge and things are going swimmingly.   I can say that because we all know how my little foray in the pool went (for those of you new to my blog you can read about it if you like click here to read about me and pools  if  not, let’s just say it was not a good time) Which brings me back to my original point: it is going swimmingly.  

Simon is being, and pardon my French, a butt!  How the boss gets him to do his job is beyond me.  I know part of it is when Simon is naughty he will get on the boss’ lap and purr and all is forgiven… what an apple polisher!  Do I get that?  NOOOOO.  When I yell at him to stop sharpening his claws on me,  in direct violation of company policy I might add, he just puffs out is tail, hops sideways at me hisses and runs off.  No respect.  Poor Bilbo, our senior mascot… and when I say senior I mean it… that old dog is deaf as a doornail. Simon ran off with half of his biscuit, When I yelled at Simon he ran faster! 

Not only that, but the orders are coming in so fast I can barely keep up! I have not had ANY time to practice my latest pose I am working on for my eventual, inevitable Fons and Porter cover.  How can I be famous when I have to print shipping labels and prepare orders!  Do you have any idea how hard it is to lick an envelope when your elbows don’t bend? Seriously!!

Ahh, for the good old days of photo shoots and standing by the water cooler.  This running a business is not for me!  Hurry up and get home boss!  We miss you… and Simon is a butt (again sorry for the course language)

Would love to chat more, but I have way too much to do… SIMON!!!! STOP THAT!   Grrrr….

Q

And Q is in Charge!

I knew I was destined for greatness!  The boss left for business for a week and put me in charge while she is gone.  She knows a leader when she sees one!  I have already implemented new changes to the studio.  Boy will she be surprised.  Effective immediately the following changes are to take place in StudioCalvin:

1)      All Textile Display Specialists (TDSs) employed by StudioCalvin are to be addressed by their title” TDS Quinnie” for example.

2)       Absolutely NO studio Mascots…Simon… will be allowed to sharpen their claws on any TDS at any time.

3)      Friday will no longer be classified as casual Friday; from now on it will be jammie day.  Now that will be cozy!

4)      There is no # 4.

5)      TDS Quinnie will be placed in charge of all display technicians, including but not limited to display hands, jewelry trees, and any other employee used to display StudioCalvin wares.  As Such TDS Quinnie is hereby promoted to Chief Textile Display Specialist (CTDS) with all rights and privileges accorded. (I toyed with the title Senior Textile Display Specialist, but thought better of it)

I am positive these changes will greatly enhance the moral of every employee of StudioCalvin.

I wonder if the boss will let me have a desk in her new office.  I would think as Chief TDS I would rate a desk.  If only my legs would bend into a sitting position.  Oh well It is the thought that counts.

Edgar and I are still going strong, although it is the time of year that he works the longest, so I won’t get to see him much until October.  That’s the drawback to dating a agricultural vermin deterrent engineer.

OK I need to get back to work, The Studio mascots are all asleep on the job I need to go wake ‘em up.

Until next time!

Q

What a perfect time for flowers...

Back in the saddle again.  Hi everybody!  Well I just finished wintering in Bermuda!  ... ok well so it was actually the basement.  But I am back now Spring is here and a ton of things have happened since I last blogged.
 I now have my own Room!  I was doing such a great job that the boss felt I deserved my own personal space.  Some people call in a closet, but they are just jealous.  It is mine and I have made it Fabulous!



OK where to begin... We have a new studio mascot.  His name is Simon.  The boss thinks he is way cute... But I have had some experience with cats. I can tell his goal is to one day have the studio renamed... yep, Studio Simon.  He is not cute.  Even the Zombies won't mess with him...  Here he is attacking a fabric flower prototype. 












Teen has embarked on a new career, and is someplace in South Carolina learning to march.  What ever that means.  I don't fully understand what she is doing, but she gets to wear really cool  camo clothes. :)

Studio Calvin (or is it Simon?) continues to evolve.  The boss is getting customers world wide now and is starting to struggle to keep up with the orders.  I keep telling her I can help, but she tells me I have more important textile display specialist things to do.  Apparently standing around looking good is a full time job!



OH OH OH!! The Boss is about to be published in a magazine!  How very exciting.   I was hoping it was vogue or Fons and Porter so she could get me an in for a my dream of making the cover... But this is just as good, she has designed easy to make fabric flowers and Quilting Arts Gifts has picked up the article.  It will be out in July.  We just boxed up 2 dozen flowers and the instructional DVD to send to them.  Here is a sneak peak of what the flowers look like. )  Hee Hee but not the ones we shipped, You'll have to get the magazine to see those.


OK I need to fulfill my contractual agreement and put in a plug for the boss.  She has placed all her Batik and Tie dye fabric on sale.  Just $2.50 a yard.  Check it out here!

Later!  Q

I have new hair!!

What do you think?  I am looking for a kimono to go with it.  When I get one I am going to make Edgar take me to a hibachi grill!

The halloween party

 So it was Halloween and the zombies were all having a huge pinochle tournament.  I was getting ready to go to a party with Edgar.  This was my costume.  I am a space girl.  Hee hee  space girls WISH they could look this good.

 I had not decided what hair to wear yet I almost went as a bald space chick, but I had too many options to let that happen.:)

 I went with the blue because it accents my eye...areas.... don't you agree?

Here is me trying on the green hair, in this one you get the full look of the outfit.

So, Anyway I found out that Edgar just got a new job at a straw mat factory, he says he can really put himself into his work not.  Just as well I guess.  His job as a agricultural vermin deterrent specialist was only seasonal.   I'm very excited for him, as long as he does not lose himself in his job

and it just keeps getting better!

This is so very exciting!  I have been approached by a major design company to have my own line of greeting cards!  I almost had to pinch myself to see if it was a dream.  I don't know details yet but apparently they are going to be taking a ton of pictures of me and using them for greeting cards!  How cool is that?  I have been thinking about it all day! What will the line be called?  Quinnies cards? Mannique's messages? oh oh oh Q box greetings!  No, wait that will probably get me sued.  oh well I will leave that to the pro's.  My job is to rock the shoot like I always do!  I think I will try to write a couple of the cards too, then I will get double pay!

Just think soon your birthday will be the best ever cause you will be getting a picture of me!!

Ta for now!  Q

I am a star!

I knew it was only a matter of time!  I am now being officially acknowledged in the recent StudioCalvin sale of Blue Girl, I will miss her, and I have been requested to do a photo shoot with a VERY prestigious modeling agency.  Maybe you have heard of them?  (I think it is the Brookings Institute) I am going to be photographed by the legendary Melanie Brooking!! Eat your heart out Naomi Campbell!

I think I even get a sales commission for Blue girl since they named me specifically.  I need to talk to Amanda about getting me a makeup artist.  I really am getting too important to do my own hair and makeup. 

OK Mel, I am gonna get my game on and rock your shoot!  Lets do it!!

Fons & Porter?  Are you out there?  I can't wait to be on your magazine!

Q

in the danger zone

We went for a walk again today.  Apparently Rob and Amanda are thrill seekers cause we went right back to where we saw the bear!  I took a picture of the area, so if you walk there you will know to be careful!  I looked for bear tracks but I think it was windy or something cause there weren't any.  I wish Edgar had been with us.  I'm not sure a bear is considered an agricultural vermin but My little straw man Eddie said  he would have jumped between me and that mean old bear.  He is such a sweetie.

River and Stevie are finished and are about to move into their Zombie Containment Units.  You should be getting a full pic spread soon.  Rob is interviewing them to make sure their bios are accurate.


Thanks for dropping in and watch out for bears!

Q

OHH! Butt tags

Now I get it! I took Blue girl aside and asked her what a butt tag was. I didn't know Zombies could blush, but I think she did a little. She turned around and lifted her skirt. There it was plain as day…A little tiny baby tag with the StudioCalvin logo. It was adorable! Blue girl said she was really proud of her tag, because it made her an member of a very select set of Zombies. I was talking to Larry and he said he had written to a bunch of his friends who were all asking how to apply to be a DDZ (Doll of the Dead Zombie) .

According to Larry, the first allowed into the DDZ, it was pretty tough to get in. Remember Pinky? she didn't make the cut. Don't tell her that. It will break her heart. We told her she was too valuable to the team to let her go, and that someday she could be in the Smithsonian as the inspiration to the DDZs.

Gotta scoot! Happy Monday! Q

OH OH OH TDS Tid Bit time!

The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets. Just so you know.